Monday, October 8, 2012

It's been a while

So I had exam today, We just do our best because we really don't have time for revision, don't even have time for weekend when all the time in weekend was about in field, running, playing and just a lot tiring stuff for weekend .... And tomorrow another exam ( just announced, we don't even know that exam was exist ).
owh .....

Sometimes I feel like we all dying whether on field, classroom, bed or I don't know. It's been a while I guess since I really post something in direct word. For the past three month, too many unexpected thing happen, the one that hold your hand to shop together, being in the same group together and  you don't even have time for her while she was sick in the hospital .... What, you were the Prime Minister that you create too many excuses to not see her till the end. I guess if I have a chance again, I will choose differ, I only seen her in fb. Perhaps we not too close, but we once was close, eating, shop, laugh together. May God bless you soul..
* Semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan di alam sana*.....

Then, a couple weeks ago, being through emotion breakdown, whether it's hormone well... * I used to blame hormone* again I don't know. Sometime I can't hold myself anymore, that feeling whether it's just me or I really should put the blame on someone, I am uncapable to carry on, but you just move on with you tears, and thank God some of them still being there for me, I just have to make some call. To talk with honest what I felt inside.

This soul sometimes are not so strong, no matter how strong I believed she is, and it's time to be honest to yourself. Being selfish was not sin, perhaps that the best you can do, just being yourself. You're lazy, you don't like what you're doing.... carry on, one day either you get bored and start doing those thing you don't like or you stuck there. It's just a matter of time, as time reveal everything. Time never lie, you just have to wait. Really, I took a lot of courage to be patient, but it's worth everything.

I am waiting whether I can change my flight 5 day earlier then the date I booked, I missed home, to do stuff that I love, to cook my favourite recipe, to sew my new project, to buy some bundle clothes in my district, to taste the morning market chicken wing, to drink my mom soup again, to fried sweet prawn , local fruits, bake some muffins, puff and to really have rest. Good Luck ....

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Makhluk itu tahu segalanya

Nama tempat itu rahim,
Tanah keajaiban, keagungan tamadun
Disana naluri yang disemai bukan sekadar kasih
ia cinta yang lebih hebat dari segala cinta

Nama tempat itu rahim,
disana dunia pertamamu duhai kita
disana, kau tiada siapa-siapa
melainkan denyutan jantung pemilik rahim

kau melihat dunia
kau mulai lupa tanah pertamamu
kau mulai lupa
Semasa kau berada di sana
Tuhan hantarkan satu anugerah kepada  ibumu
Anugerah bak sentuhan midas
setiap kata akan menjadi mukjizat
atau sumpahan
kerana anugerah itu adalah bayaran untuk setiap kesakitannya
bayaran untuk cintanya padamu
kerana kasihnya
yang lebih hebat dari mana-mana cinta didunia ini

Kau percaya dia tidak tahu apa-apa tentang duniamu yang serba baru
Kau percaya dia salah, dan kau betul
kau percaya masa sudah berubah
kau lupa ada satu perkara yang tidak pernah berubah
asalmu dari rahim itu
dan dia pemilik mutlakmu selain Allah

Sampai masa tiba,
masa tunjukkan segala-galanya
kalau dia katakan tidak
percayalah Tuhan sudah mengiringi doanya
andai kau keras
nanti Tuhan tunjukkan jua
kerana perkataan tidak, jangan itu, adalah sumpahannya
kerana Allah pemilik kita.

Justeru harus kau ingat
makhluk itu sudah diberi anugerah
bukan dengan akal
tetapi dengan hati menggerakkan akal
hatinya mungkin kotor, tapi dari situlah asalmu
hatinya mungkin suci, dan dari situ jugalah asalmu
sehina mana dia, sejahat mana dia, dialah yang menanggung sakit,
andai kau bertuah kau akan rasa sakit itu nanti
kemudian kau akan rasa anugerah itu

Anugerah itu
nampaknya berbeza-beza, tetapi hakikatnya sama
dia punyai hati yang tahu segala-galanya
tanpa perlu mencari
kerana hati itulah anugerahnya
yang dikurniakan saat kau disemai dalam rahimnya